satc3The other day, I was introduced to a “Maranda”.

“Oh, like the Sex and City character!” I cheerfully exploded.

“Yeah. Sort of…” she sheepishly trailed off.

I immediately regretted making the connection, thinking that the complainy, stubborn character traits of the SATC Miranda were bumming out this much friendlier Maranda, who clearly wasn’t similar in any way–and whose name I would later learn wasn’t even spelled the same.

But, then I realized what the real problem was.

“Are you too young to remember Sex and the City?” I asked.

“I wasn’t even born yet when it was on.”

I immediately felt every one of my 1,002 years as the realization hit me of just how long it’s been since this iconic show first aired on HBO.

Thankfully, before I started shopping online for a walker, rubber-bottomed cane and those huge black glasses that wrap around your face like a fighter pilot’s helmet, Maranda came to my rescue and explained she was still familiar with the show…through re-runs on regular TV.

That’s probably how many women become familiar with this show nowadays. Though that’s kinda sad considering that, from what I’ve seen, the censors cut out so much that the scripts end up sounding like a battle of the best non-sequitors:

“I’m going to see Big tonight.” “I love the color green!”

“I have a hot date with a new boy-toy.” “Let’s go shoe shopping!”

“You won’t believe who I did last night.” “Madison Avenue! Prada! Cosmos! Manolos!”

Despite the chop-shop treatment given to the show, it still seems to be popular enough to air in binge-watch blocks every weekend.

So, with that in mind, I’m hoping that you, too, are familiar with Sex and the City because I want to bring you a reprise of a Hormonology Cheat Sheet I created a few years ago when I’d had an epiphany about how each of the four main characters in the show (Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda) perfectly symbolize each week in a woman’s monthly cycle–and how this could help you remember what to expect from each week of your own cycle.

Are you ready to find out if you’re a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda today? Read on…

Week 1: You’re Carrie
Day 1 (start of your period) to Day 7

With every SATC episode, the blonde, ambitious, lovelorn NYC sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw seems to start off with a little challenge that threatens to bring her down. But, then she uses her increasing optimism and feistiness to rise to the occasion and come out the victor. Sounds a bit like when you first get your period, right? The cramps and fatigue might seem like they’ve got ahold of you, however, before long, your estrogen is rising and your period is petering out and you’re feeling more resilient and hopeful just like Carrie.

Carrie also embodies playfulness and whimsy as she parades around in colorful outfits, tries out new hairstyles and keeps herself open to new experiences and meeting new people. So, too, does your rising estrogen bring out your inner kid who wants to have fun, explore and socialize. As your Week 1 goes on–and your estrogen level goes up–like Carrie, you tend to dress in bolder colors, experiment with your appearance and jump on every opportunity to try new activities and mingle.

With romantic ideals set high, Carrie aims her sights on finding true love–and doesn’t mind sampling a bevy of paramours until she finds her special someone. In a similar way, your rising estrogen is prompting a desire to make a love connection throughout your Week 1 and making you increasingly hopeful that your perfect match is right around the corner.

Week 2: You’re Samantha
Day 8 to ovulation (which is Day 14 in a 28-day cycle) 

With a velvety purr, skin-baring dresses and nonstop libido, PR guru Samantha Jones exudes sensuality in every episode. Like Samantha, you’re also going to be experiencing a nearly nonstop peak in your sensuality during your Week 2 thanks to spiking estrogen and testosterone that are revving your sex drive, enjoyment of physical pleasure, desire to flirt and tendency to wear outfits that flatter your figure.

There’s another key trait Samantha was known for that you’re also going to be experiencing in abundance during your Week 2: Confidence. While it would have been easy to dismiss Samantha’s character as a mere sex kitten, truth is, of all the characters, she was boldest, most courageous, fiercest and the one brimming with the kind of confidence that made her comfortable taking command of any situation. Your high estrogen is doing the same for you in your Week 2, making it a perfect week for leading meetings, forming groups, attending networking events and running for some kind of elected office at school, work or in an organization you belong to.

Samantha never shied away from an exciting adventure–though, hers were usually the sexual kind. You, too, are likely going to leap at the chance to experience an adventure–of most any kind–thanks to high hormones that make you crave a thrill.

Week 3: You’re Charlotte
Begins day after ovulation and lasts 8 days (which is Day 15 to Day 22 in a 28-day cycle)

Demure, quiet and introverted, play-it-by-the-rules art curator Charlotte York is the total opposite of Carrie and Samantha. So, too, is your Week 3 a total opposite of your Week 1 and Week 2: Lower estrogen and rising progesterone combine to make you slower, quieter and more introspective. You prefer safety, security and caution to leaping into uncharted waters and risky adventures. And, your libido, which had been heating up, up, up is now cooling down to levels a prim-and-proper Charlotte would approve of.

When choosing outfits, you tend to cover up more than you did in your Week 2, use less makeup and prefer a simpler approach to your hair, mirroring Charlotte’s modest and low-key approach.

And, just as Charlotte finds satisfaction in beautifying her home and getting the details just right, rising progesterone is prompting a desire in you to make your surroundings more comfortable and appealing by triggering an urge to “feather your nest”.

Week 4: You’re Miranda
Final 6 days of your cycle 

You could call Miranda Hobbes fiery–but chronically annoyed is probably a more accurate description. That’s because the red-headed lawyer tends to be highly critical of situations, events and people around her. Maybe it’s just her analytical lawyerly way. But, it’s more likely due to her New Yorkish cynicism and pessimism–which makes her fairly certain disaster is the inevitable culmination of every problem and human interaction–and her lack of patience–which makes her more easily disappointed and ticked off.

So, too, in your premenstrual Week 4 do you have the potential to adopt Miranda’s cynical, impatient outlook. But, who can blame you? As your estrogen level drops, it can drag down levels of brain chemicals that manage your mood. However, keep in mind that this negative mindset isn’t guaranteed. Your premenstrual mood can depend on certain key factors, such as your sensitivity to plunging estrogen as well as how well you’re sleeping, how healthy your diet is, how much exercise you’ve been doing and how much stress you’re under.

Regardless of what shade of annoyed your mood may take on in your premenstrual week, plunging estrogen can prompt the same kind of stubborn streak that makes it difficult for Miranda to be flexible and yield to someone else’s way of doing things.

The good news? While Miranda may not always (or maybe ever) be thoroughly satisfied with her boyfriends’ personalities, she is willing to put up with their foibles to satisfy her libido. You could end up doing the same thing as your sex drive comes back to life thanks to your body preparing for menstruation, which stimulates nerve endings down below.

Enjoyed this Sex and the City Hormonology Cheat Sheet? Guess what? It works with the Golden Girls, too! Stay tuned….

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[Photo: das_sabrinchen]