Whether or not you plan to dress up for Halloween–or you simply wish this week of Halloween-themed Hormonology posts would mercifully come to an end (patience, it’s just two more days…)–you’ll probably still get a kick out of finding out which Halloween costumes would be the perfect physical representation of how you’re feeling each week of your cycle. (Three guesses for which week the evil undead zombie appears!)
Week 1: You’d be a silly costume–such as Ms. Pacman, a bumble bee or whoopee cushion
Day 1 (first day of period) to Day 7
Low-but-rising estrogen in your Week 1 is slowly lifting your mood, which is bringing out the kid in you and making you more comfortable being a little silly in front of other people–even if it means some if it will end up on Facebook. During this week of your cycle, you’re also more likely to think back to childhood fun you enjoyed and want to recreate–no matter how utterly, embarrassingly juvenile it was. (Warning: Lighting your farts is still just as dangerous now as it was back then. So, opt for eating Pop Rocks with your mouth open or racing office chairs instead.)
Week 2: You’d be a sexy, super-smart or powerful costume–such as a wench, Marie Curie or Wonder Woman
Day 8 to Day 14 (or the day you ovulate in your cycle)
High estrogen and testosterone are boosting your body confidence, desire for passionate romance and comfort having all eyes on you–making this the week of your cycle when your inner vixen is snapping her whip to come out and play. Coincidentally, this is also the time in your cycle when your hormones make your brain skills peak–so you’re both sexy AND smart! Which is a killer combination you can use to your advantage since your high hormones are also making you more ambitious, competitive and downright convinced you can do just about anything you set your mind to.
Week 3: You’d be food or a nostalgic or sleepy costume–such as a slice of pizza, the Take On Me A-Ha video or a pillow
Starts the day after ovulation and lasts 8 days (Day 15 to Day 22 in a 28-day cycle)
Rising progesterone during your Week 3 is prompting food cravings up the yin-yang. Seriously, this week it’s like eating junk food is your second job. On top of that, this hormone triggers a bit of sentimentality, which makes basking in nostalgic memories the perfect side dish to that hot fudge sundae you’re putting away. You may think all that extra eating and daydreaming is behind your chronic urge to nap, but truth is, progesterone–a seriously sedating hormone–is the reason for that, too.
Week 4: You’d be a self-indulgent or scary costume–such as a pop diva, Godzilla or zombie
Final 6 days of your cycle
I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler when I tell you that during your premenstrual week, you can be a bit demanding, impatient or, dare I say, grouchy. The culprit, of course, is plunging estrogen, which drags down levels of brain of chemicals needed to boost your mood and make you more flexible and resilient. Now, this doesn’t mean that every second of your premenstrual week you’ll be insisting someone remove all the brown M&Ms from your candy bowl or you’ll be breathing fire at every unsuspecting shmo who dares to get within five feet of you. But, you can have your moments. Oh, can you have your moments!
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