The Hormonology Survival Guide to Family Get-Togethers

/The Hormonology Survival Guide to Family Get-Togethers

The Hormonology Survival Guide to Family Get-Togethers

familyBracing yourself for an upcoming family gathering for a holiday or other event?

In the U.S., we have Thanksgiving this week–an annual tradition that typically involves seeing family you’ve tried to dodge for most of the year while stuffing yourself until your buttons pop.

But, there’s a whole slew more family-oriented holidays laying in wait for many of us just a few weeks away.

Whether you love’em or dread’em, you can make every get-together with your kinfolk happier when you know how your hormones will be impacting your mood, desire to chat, patience with others, energy level and more.

Read on to find out what to expect from your next family shindig based on which week you’re on in your monthly cycle….

Week 1: Quiet start, chatty finish
Day 1 (first day of period) to Day 7
If it’s the first day or two of your period, aches and fatigue may make you wish you could postpone this family fete for another time so you can hunker down on the couch with the TV remote and a hot water bottle. Since you can’t, you’ll likely grit your teeth and silently bear through the cheek-staining lipsticky kisses, awkward bony shoulder hugs and repeated questions about your job/relationship/life while daydreaming of the moment you can finally get some one-on-one face-time with the TV. If you’re past the period pain, however, there’s good news to report: Rising estrogen is making you chattier, more outgoing and social, putting you in the mood to mingle and reconnect with family members. Even better: This same hormone is lifting your mood, making you more willing to overlook most snarky back-handed compliments and re-tellings of thoroughly humiliating experiences you wish everyone would just forget. Of course, even Week 1 gals have their limits, so have a few conversation-changers ready to whip out in case of an emergency.
If you’re hosting… Prepare as much as you can ahead of time and recruit helpers. During menstruation, energy levels sag, so you’ll want an extra set of hands to help keep you going all day long.

Week 2: You’re the life of the party
Day 8 to ovulation (which is Day 14 in a 28-day cycle)
Peaking estrogen will have you chatting up a storm! You’re starting lots of conversations and easily answering even the stickiest questions that only family members know how to pose for maximum squirming effect. Family jokesters will be swarming around you since this high hormone boosts your mood and makes it easier to smile at Uncle Roy’s magic tricks and laugh at the same jokes Aunt Sally repeats every year. A word of warning: Your hormones make your passion and confidence overflow this week, so you may feel it’s the right time to disclose something that your family feels is controversial—for instance, that you’re gay or that you genuinely love karaoke. Coming out as a karaoke lover is hard on everyone at first. So remember to give your family time to adjust. And try to spring it after dessert. There’s nothing worse than storming out before pie.
If you’re hosting… Peaking estrogen gives you the energy and stamina you need to cook and serve all day. You’ll also have energy left over to clean up. But why let on when you can recruit someone else to do it?

Week 3: Smiling on the inside
Begins day after ovulation and lasts 8 days (which is Day 15 to Day 22 in a 28-day cycle)
Rising progesterone puts a mellower spin on your day: This sedating hormone has you relaxed, perhaps a tad tired, and too calm to be ruffled by even the most passive-aggressive of relatives. That is, unless you go hungry. If you wait too long to eat and your stomach is grumbling, progesterone is making you more sensitive to a drop in blood sugar that triggers the hunger crankies, which can turn your mood sour in an instant. Luckily, the fix is easy: Simply eat! Unfortunately for your family, no amount of food is going to make you much chattier. Progesterone is making you quieter than you’ve been in the past two weeks, so you’re giving shorter answers to questions people ask and bringing up fewer conversation topics of your own. If you don’t want the kinfolk to mistake your silence for sullenness, sit next to your chattiest relative. Then simply ask a few starter questions, such as, “How are you?” or “Can you pass the candied yams?”, which will be enough to put them on verbal auto-pilot and make you look like the best, most engaged listener in your entire family tree.
If you’re hosting… Steer clear of anything that can make you drowsier than you already feel, such as wine or an extra helping of food, which puts you in a fog by diverting blood flow from your brain to your stomach.

Week 4: Their flaws are out, your claws are out
Final 6 days of your cycle
It’s not that your relatives are any more annoying than usual. It’s just that as estrogen descends, it’s almost impossible not to focus on your family’s foibles. Sis makes noises when she eats. Grandma smells funny. Even your dad, who sits quietly eating his dinner, seems to be holding his fork all wrong. Woe to those family members who take a more active approach to annoying you—for instance, pointing out how they’d fix so-called problems in your life if they were you or offering to pair you up on a blind date with their thrice-divorced co-worker. Descending hormones aren’t gonna like that either. Other than that, you’re feeling quiet, introspective and may be found circling the punch bowl for solace. And not the mocktail one, either.
If you’re hosting… Be prepared to drop a dish, burn the biscuits or have another type of hosting mishap. Plunging estrogen is making you a bit less coordinated and a tad more absent-minded, which ups the chances of small blunders. Suffice it to say, it may be better to ask someone else to pass the priceless heirloom gravy boat.

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By | 2017-11-21T19:23:44+00:00 November 24th, 2014|holidays, hormonology guide, Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4|2 Comments

About the Author:

Gabrielle Lichterman, founder of Hormonology® and a longtime women’s health journalist, pioneered the growing movement among women to live in sync with their menstrual cycles and know more about all the ways their hormones impact their moods, health and behavior. This movement was launched in 2005 with Gabrielle's groundbreaking book, 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals about Your Love Life, Moods and Potential, and her creation of Hormonology®. She offers a variety of tools--including her popular free Hormone Horoscope® app, eBooks, infographics, videos and tips--to share vital information about hormones.


  1. Gabrielle Lichterman November 24, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    So glad to hear you’re enjoying my website, app and articles, Amy. Many women like you are tuned into their rhythmic pattern — but, it certainly helps to tease out what’s really going on specifically for each week of your cycle. And I personally love knowing the science behind it all.

    Sorry to hear Thanksgiving coincides with your premenstrual Week 4. That’s a bummer. I definitely agree that you should show your fiance this article — maybe he’ll give you that “Get out of Thanksgiving Day free” card you clearly want 🙂 If he doesn’t, try to bring things with you that you know will soothe or prevent an irritated premenstrual mood. It could be a book you read during bathroom breaks, a few of your favorite teabags or a flask hidden in your boot! 😉 That way, you’ll know you have something to release stress and/or perk up your mood at the ready when you need it.

    Good luck — and happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Amy November 24, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    Your timing for this article couldn’t be more perfect! For years I’ve known that where I am in my cycle can influence my mood, but your website, app, and articles break it down so well that I can’t seem to get enough. I’m into my 4th week now and the last thing I want to be doing on Thanksgiving is spending time out of town with my fiance’s family. I tried explaining to him that I’ll already be feeling crampy and nauseated (typical PMS symptoms for me), but now I feel so validated having read the line “their flaws are out, your claws are out.” So funny and so true. I’ll have to show him this article. It may make him think twice about my wanting us to stay at home this year. Thanks. 🙂

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