My Hormonology

It’s U.S. Tax Day!
How do you spend your money each week of your cycle?

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormone-cast: Rising estrogen and testosterone are boosting your confidence about how much money you have to spend. It’s not like you feel as though you’ve suddenly come into millions, but you’re pretty sure that you’ll be able to figure out a way to cover that new iPod, spring outfit and Sephora splurge once the credit card bill rolls around.

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormone-cast: When estrogen reaches it’s peak this week, it can trigger stress-outs when you think of bills and other money issues. Luckily, high testosterone is amping up your ambition so you’ll be thinking of novel ways to rake in more cash, for instance, by starting a side business or listing unused items on eBay. Just watch out for testosterone’s tendency to make you impulsive when shopping; you could end up buying a new high-ticket item, like a TV or exercise bike, that you can’t really afford right now. Hold onto receipts in case returns are called for next week.

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormone-cast: As estrogen descends and progesterone rises this week, you feel less like splurging and more like saving. With one caveat: You may feel drawn toward purchasing items that make your home safer and more comfortable, such as new smoke alarms and fluffy pillows. And no wonder: This week’s hormones are all about getting you to settle down and be secure and relaxed in case you got pregnant during ovulation at the end of Week 2 and need to take care of a developing ovum.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormone-cast: Estrogen and testosterone plunge this week and, as they decrease your brain’s feel-good chemicals, they’re taking your confidence about money matters with them. As a result, you may feel a sense of worry or dread about bills that are due now or that will be due in the future. Just remember that descending hormones are making you see things as slightly worse than they really are, so before taking desperate money measures, such as submitting your application at the nearest pole dancing club or selling your gold fillings, take a deep breath, then work on a practical budget. Preferably, with plenty of PMS-soothing pizza and frozen yogurt within reach.

Bonus tip: Cinnabon is taking the sting out of Tax Day by offering free bite-sized versions of their famous cinnamon bun dessert today. And, let’s face it, that’s a perfect pick-me-up any week of your cycle. To find a Cinnabon near you, log onto cinnabon.findlocation.com. Hours and participation vary by location.


My Hormonology