My HormonologyWhich week are you on in your cycle?

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormonescope: Be careful about being unrealistic today. Rising estrogen is boosting your optimism and, while that’s generally a good thing, too much of anything can end up being not so awesome, for instance, when assuring a pal that a complicated problem she’s facing has a quick and easy solution, when promising to devote time to helping someone even when your schedule is already overflowing or when putting a down payment on expensive furniture, electronics or a car with the hopes that you’ll somehow be able to come up with the rest of the cash when it’s due.

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormonescope: Have stress-busters at the ready! High estrogen is making you prone to high anxiety today. So, stress triggers big or small can send you into a stomach-churning spiral of freak-out proportions. Luckily, slow deep breathing, chamomile tea or (my personal fave tho I should really stick to the breathing and tea) a treat with a little fat and sugar (Reese’s peanutbutter cups, anyone?) are all study-proven ways to lower your body’s level of cortisol, the stress hormone that’s putting you in a tizzy.

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormonescope: You may try to avoid phone calls from friends and family, skip after-work drink-to-forget parties and duck out of the way of windows and doors when neighbors ring your bell. Folks shouldn’t take your anti-socialness personally; it’s just rising progesterone that makes chit-chatting about nothing in particular feel about as much fun as organizing a hallway closet.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormonescope: You have the opposite problem of Week 1 gals; your plunging estrogen and testosterone make you see the world slightly less rosy than it really is. As a result, you may have to guard yourself against acting too pessimistically, for instance, when telling a pal that her relationship has no hope of surviving her boyfriend eating the last Mallowmar, when throwing your whole printer in the trash just because the ink cartridge got stuck or when deciding to delete your entire blog because you were sure no one was reading it.


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My Hormonology