My HormonologyWhich week are you on
in your monthy cycle?
Find out what it reveals about
what your day has in store:

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormonescope: Your competitive spirit increases this week and next week as testosterone rises. This means you’ll be less likely to back down from a fight, more likely to accept invitations for games you’re sure you’ll win (or die trying!) and have the confidence to send in more resumes to job openings since you know you’ll outshine the other applicants!

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormonescope: Give yourself a reminder to talk more slowly around the men-folk today. High estrogen and testosterone are making you speak faster than during any other week in your cycle. While other women won’t have a problem with your quick pace, most men—who have fewer language processing centers in their brain—will be left in the dust.

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormonescope: Week 3 is like the B side of your menstrual cycle. It’s got a totally different vibe than the first half of your cycle: it’s a much mellower groove and you’re not sure if you totally like it or not. Hence, why it’s not the A side that gets all the radio play. In any case, this week you’ll be wondering where all your superstar pep, outstanding orgasms and chat chat chattiness went to that you were loving during the first half of your cycle. Talk to progesterone: This sedating hormone is responsible for all of these changes. Luckily, it brings with it a relaxing calm that you can see as a welcome respite from all the high-energy fun you had in the past two weeks.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormonescope: Week 4 is like that time you started that big organizing project where you pulled everything out of the drawers and closets with grand plans of making everything neat and orderly and fit in this nifty little system you devised yourself…all in under an hour with enough time for a chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream break. But, eight hours later, your room is one big old mess and the whole pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (and the box of doughnut holes and the bag of mint Milanos) are all gone. My point? Like those purged closets, Week 4’s plunging estrogen churns up a lot of emotions that you’ve been sweeping under the rug (or stuffing in your mental closet) during the first three weeks of your cycle about your sweetheart, your roommate, your job, your schoolwork, your car that goes dinga-dinga when you make left turns, and everything else. And just like your real closets, it’s best not to tackle all of these problems at once. Handling a bit at a time will help you iron out all your issues more efficiently and save you from an afternoon brimming with saturated fat and cookie crumbs.

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