My Hormonology

Which week are you on in your cycle?

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormonescope: You’re texting, tweeting, posting to Facebook and chatting on the phone more this week as rising estrogen amps up your urge to connect and convey your thoughts to others.

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormonescope: Lusty fantasies are aplenty today! It’ll be hard to resist imagining how soft a certain cutie’s lips are, mentally practicing pick-up lines that would make you look both smart and sassy, and wondering what the next five, 10 or 20 years would be like with the object of your affection. Blame for Cupid’s arrow goes straight to your hormones: high estrogen is urging you to make a love connection and high testosterone is revving up your libido to cycle-long highs.

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormonescope: You may feel like your tongue is tied up in knots and you can’t remember the exact word you want to say. Blame goes to progesterone. As it rises, it makes it more difficult for you to express yourself in conversation by putting a damper on verbal ability and recall.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormonescope: You are not in the mood for whiny babies today. If people expect you to coddle them after they sprain a pinky finger, soothe them after they missed a job interview because the line at Starbucks was long, or listen to them as they drone on about their family issues, they can think again. Plunging estrogen is depleting your patience and making you want to smack some sense into them and remind that they don’t have it nearly as bad as they think they do.

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