My Hormonology

Which week are you on in your cycle?

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormonescope: Here’s the deal with rising estrogen: While it boosts brain chemicals that put you in a good mood, this doesn’t mean you’re going to be grinning from ear to ear all day and laughing in the face of all that life throws at you. If bad stuff happens—for instance, you stub your toe, get hit with an unexpected bank fee or your significant other still hasn’t figured out that smelly socks go in the hamper, not on your side of the bed—then naturally annoyed feelings will arise. However, rising estrogen will help you bounce back from these irritations faster than if you were in the second half of your cycle when plunging estrogen makes negative feelings linger a little longer.

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormonescope: Good luck trying to avoid thinking about sex today. High testosterone is ratcheting up your libido to a fever pitch, making everyone you see and everything you do remind you of climbing between the sheets. And, if you can, definitely pencil in time for some hedonistic fun either with a partner or alone. High testosterone is making orgasms more intense and longer-lasting than any other week of your cycle!

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormonescope: You may feel like your tongue is tied up in knots and you can’t remember the exact word you want to say. Blame goes to progesterone. As it rises, it makes it more difficult to express yourself in conversation by putting a damper on verbal ability and recall.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormonescope: Help out a friend who you think is having the wool pulled over his or her eyes, for example, by a dentist who says she needs extensive and expensive dental work (coincidentally at the same time the dentist just closed on a new condo) or by a pushy home security salesperson who’s convincing him to drop thousands on a new security system when you know competitors cost a fraction of the price. Plunging estrogen is making you see the world a lot more clearly, which makes it harder for people to dupe you into believing their hype.

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