My Hormonology

Which week are you on in your cycle?

Week 1
First day of period to Day 7
Today’s hormonescope: You’ll likely loosen up about some issues and stop being so stubborn. Thanks for your flexibility goes to rising estrogen, which pumps up your mood and patience, making you less irked when things don’t go exactly your way.

Week 2
Day 8 to Day 13
Today’s hormonescope: Careful: You may be tempted to cut corners today as high estrogen and testosterone make you want to speed things up. As a result, you may change a recipe if you’re missing an ingredient (hint: baking soda cannot be substituted for baking soda no matter how alike they sound), skip an instruction if you don’t understand it (never skip the one that says “unplug first”) or try cutting your own bangs if you can’t get a fast appointment with your hairdresser (keep a barette, headband or hat handy).

Week 3
Day 14 (or ovulation) to Day 22
Today’s hormonescope: You may notice your necklines climbing and your hemlines falling. Why the sudden modesty? Lower levels of estrogen are making you more demure. And rising progesterone is triggering bloat and constipation, making you want to camouflage any extra bulges.

Week 4
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Today’s hormonescope: You may take things a little more seriously today as plunging estrogen brings down mood-elevating brain chemicals. As a result, you may find certain TV commercials offensive, decide to write an angry email to your senator after watching the news or be the only person in your group not to laugh at a politically incorrect joke a pal told.