A friend emailed me to update me on the huge, ginormous crush she had on a guy last week. That’s was when Valentine’s Day was here and her hormones were still at high levels from Week 2 of her cycle (when peaking estrogen and testosterone make the idea of romance utterly irresistible).
Now that she’s deep into Week 3 of her cycle (when estrogen dips and progesterone rises, triggering a drop in the romantic desire department) and the thrill of Valentine’s Day has passed, her interest in her crush has subsided. And she’s thinking maybe she’s not that into him after all!
Then she thought back to another former romance when her attraction to a particular lad was stirred only when estrogen began to rise in her Week 1. During the second half of her cycle when estrogen dipped, her interest in him dipped with it.
Her experience is a common one (I’ve also had crushes that reared their heads only during Week 2 of my cycle like clockwork) and leads to the all-important question:
Since rising estrogen in the first half of your monthly cycle can trigger attractions that then fade as this hormone drops in the second half of your cycle, how can you know when you’re truly in love and someone is worth pursuing?
My answer: When you feel the same passion for the person through all four weeks of your cycle.
If you’re still deeply longing for someone–especially when they’re not physically present–in Week 3 despite rising progesterone dampening your desire for romance, and if you’re still focusing only on the strengths of this person rather than their flaws in your premenstrual Week 4 despite plunging estrogen making you a tad more critical, then your attraction is likely a deeper, more meaningful one.