Easy way to make men more sympathetic about your cycle

/Easy way to make men more sympathetic about your cycle

Easy way to make men more sympathetic about your cycle

My HormonologyLet’s face it–even though men have their own hormone cycle and both men and women produce the same hormones in our bodies (albeit in different amounts), our monthly cycle is still a mystery to most males. Which is why when PMS rears its ugly, irritable, vase-throwing head, it confuses many guys.

As a result, some men are cold about it, telling us it’s all in our heads or to simply shake it off, while others are simply scared, preferring to run and hide (like Dan Conner did in this hilarious take on PMS on the TV show Roseanne.)

Luckily, a study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health shows there’s an easy way to help men become more sympathetic when your premenstrual week rolls around: Educate them about it.

As the researchers discovered, when men learned that PMS was simply a biological response to plunging levels of estrogen that triggers a myriad of side effects–including irritability, sadness, achiness, cravings and lack of confidence–they were more understanding when the women in their lives experienced it.

This makes perfect sense since it makes the condition seem less mysterious. Plus, it’s easy to understand.

So, if you’d like a man in your life to show you more care and concern when you reach your premenstrual week, take a moment to explain to him why PMS occurs: It’s because plunging levels of estrogen trigger certain changes in the brain that cause the side effects you’re experiencing.

If he needs further explanation, liken it to a time he tried to quit coffee or cigarettes and how grouchy and blue he became. In a similar way, your brain is responding to getting less estrogen, causing a withdrawal-like state.

I also suggest going one step further: Depending on the relationship you have with the man you’re educating (partner, brother, friend, son, etc.), recommend various ways he can make you feel better during your premenstrual week. Guys love to fix problems–not just hear about them. And PMS seems unfixable to them, which frustrates them. When you suggest a few ways he can help boost your mood during your premenstrual week, it makes him feel like he’s somehow improving the situation, which makes both you and he happier.

And, I’m sure you know of plenty of easy mood-boosters he can try. For instance, my husband, Douglas, knows that hugs make me calmer and happier when my premenstrual week arrives. He also knows surprising me with a cupcake or other treat will perk me right up. And giving me total control over the TV remote during my premenstrual week is just a given.

Want extra help educating a guy? Simply send him this blog post. And be sure to follow up with a list of PMS-busters he could try the next time you enter your premenstrual phase.

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By | 2017-04-25T18:03:44+00:00 September 16th, 2014|hormonology tip, men, pms, Week 4|4 Comments

About the Author:

Gabrielle Lichterman, founder of Hormonology® and a longtime women’s health journalist, pioneered the growing movement among women to live in sync with their menstrual cycles and know more about all the ways their hormones impact their moods, health and behavior. This movement was launched in 2005 with Gabrielle's groundbreaking book, 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals about Your Love Life, Moods and Potential, and her creation of Hormonology®. She offers a variety of tools--including her popular free Hormone Horoscope® app, eBooks, infographics, videos and tips--to share vital information about hormones.

4 Comments

  1. Gabrielle Lichterman November 23, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    Bailey, I’m sorry your S/O isn’t sympathetic to your condition. But, I’m glad to hear that you’ve found ways to reduce your PMDD. That’s a big deal since PMDD can really interfere with your life. I hope your partner learns to be a bit more sensitive.

  2. Bailey October 10, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    As active as I am in trying to promote scientific data to my significant other, the information still does not seem to be understood with any sympathy. I have PMDD, which I have been able to reduce with supplements and a proactive management of my health, but unfortunately, even when I warn him about my week 4 and my hormonal changes, he takes it for granted that I am so self-controlled and honest by picking fights and bringing up touchy subjects as soon as I announce that I got my period (Day 1 has started). This is the only time during my menstrual cycle he is so aggressive. Is his own biological reaction to not having fathered a child? I am a bit confused, as this seems to be on such a subconscious level for him that I do not think talking to him about it will lead to anything other than him dismissing me as too speculative or starting a huge fight.

  3. Gabrielle Lichterman September 20, 2014 at 8:17 am

    You are incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful and caring husband, Renee. It’s heartwarming to hear that he has helped you get in tune with your hormonal ups and downs–and helps you find treatments to make your life better. What a wonderful testimony! I’m also so glad to hear that my Hormone Horoscope app has been able to help him keep track of your cycle. How awesome! I don’t know how often you read my HormoneHoroscope.com blog or if you subscribe to my free Hormonology newsletter, but if you haven’t read the post about chromium and PMDD yet, you can see it here: https://www.myhormonology.com/?p=11516. I’ve received so much positive feedback from other PMDD sufferers about how well it’s worked for them. Maybe it can work for you, too. Thanks for writing!

  4. Renee Bishop September 20, 2014 at 1:50 am

    My husband suffers right along with me through every day of my cycle, from the first day of the first week all the way to the last day of the fourth week, he really is a blessing to me, a real gift Ive been given by the Grace of God. I suffer from PMDD and it was my husband that helped me realize this. He actually knew me and the patterns I cycle thru each and every month right down to my increase in sensitivity to tastes and smells and sounds and which week to expect them to reach their peak. He even pointed out to me the drastic changes in my thinking and decision making abilities and how my emotions become overwhelmingly powerful and so extreme that I can literally destroy my life the two days before I start bleeding only to return to my normal rational self the day of or the day after I start and find myself piecing my life back together the best I can only to do it all over again. This is how my life was until I met my husband. He was the one to show me the connection and the patterns and helps me with homeopathic treatments .Thanks to him I now know I’m not crazy nor just a screw up that cant get along in life. Thanks to him I have peace in my life and am at peace with myself. I have learned to accept my diagnosis and to understand that I have a medical disorder that can be treated and predicted and to a degree controlled instead of it controlling me.
    In return and to help him be a step ahead, I put this app on his phone,and he loves it! He loves its accuracy and the way you can find humor in all of it. Thank you so much for this app and all the work you’ve done in hormonology, you too have been a blessing!

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