Hormonology uses hundreds of scientific studies to show you how your hormones impact you in virtually every way every day of your monthly cycle. The Hormone Horoscope is a nifty little way of dispensing this information daily. To get started, find the week you’re on in your monthly cycle (you can use this easy guide if you’re not sure), then read your Hormone Horoscope for today!
Which week are you on in your monthly cycle? Find out what it reveals about what your day has in store:
Day 1 (first day of period) to Day 7
Today’s Hormone Horoscope: Once you’re past the achy, tiring part of your period, you’re going to be laughing more, for instance, at TV shows, stupid jokes your boss makes at work or when a friend does one of those cartoon-like slips on the ice and falls on her bum. Credit for the extra guffaws goes to rising estrogen, which boosts levels of giggle-inducing endorphins in the brain. So, take advantage of this hormonal benefit to seek out more ways to laugh today. Studies show that frequent laughter reduces stress and lowers blood pressure, key ways to protect your health!
Day 8 to Day 14 or ovulation (here’s how to tell when you’re ovulating)
Estrogen and testosterone rise till they peak
Today’s Hormone Horoscope: You’ll likely impress yourself at some point today with the words, puns and witticisms that come pouring out of your mouth today. Credit goes to high estrogen, which is ratcheting up verbal and brain skills, making you sound more fluent, smarter and funnier than any other week of your cycle. This makes it a perfect time to test your speaking skills in a new challenge! Researchers from Massachusetts Institute of Technology have discovered the one tongue-twister that stumped all volunteers in a recent study. Can you say this five times fast in your Week 2: “Pad kid poured curd pulled cold“?
Day 15 (or the day after ovulation) to Day 22
Progesterone rises; estrogen and testosterone drop for half the week, then estrogen rises again
Today’s Hormone Horoscope: Unlike Week 2 gals, chances are, you’ll get frustrated with yourself at some point today when trying to speak to someone. That’s because rising progesterone is making you forget words you wanted to say–even easy ones, like molecule or cat–and is making you prone to tripping over your tongue as you talk. Suffice it to say, entering high-stakes tongue-twister competitions at this point in your cycle is strongly discouraged.
Day 23 to the end of cycle
Estrogen and progesterone plunge
Today’s Hormone Horoscope: Whether you’re picking out greeting cards, holiday gifts or meals at the grocery store, you’ll likely be less impressed with your options and see flaws in products that make it more difficult to finally settle on something. That’s because plunging estrogen is giving you a more negative mindset, which makes you doubt that an item is good enough or will fulfill your needs.